I finally got wordpress mu up and running, http://uk2uonline.info/ so please ignore all my other request for help,
I got myself a reseller package. and asked the admin there if they could set the server side up for me, dna wildcards etc.
I got the theme for the site from .
wordpress theme generator at http://www.yvoschaap.com/wpthemegen/ well worth a visit,
and if you are looking for hosting or cheap reseller package that can install the tricky side of mu, try http://mycohost.net/ (but by it through e-bay, very cheap)their support is brilliant.
Thanks to all of you have answered my other posts.