@andrea_r: ok, so i realized after my last post that i have "lighter drop down menus" activated and figured it could be messing things up. my bad.
so i deactivated that plugin, and upon logging in i now go right to the dashboard. great. i have the username topleft that takes me nowhere when clicked (url/wp-admin), and top right i now have my username and logout. great.
on the next level to the right i still have 'plugins' and 'users'. I need to remove plugins, and what i need is not 'users' but for blog owners to go right their profile (found in the sub-menu).
i explained to boonika earlier that while we are giving users individual blogs, we want to keep their access to dashboard and profile and to prevent them from adding or managing users for their own blogs.
when completed, all of the blog posts will get pulled to the main blog anyhow.
clear as mud? :)